The Rise of Grey Divorce in Los Angeles: Key Factors and Impacts

Increasing Trend of Grey Divorce

In recent years, there has been a noticeable rise in grey divorce rates in Los Angeles, mirroring a broader national trend. One significant factor driving this increase is the shifting social norms and the diminishing stigma associated with divorce. This is particularly evident among Baby Boomers, who now prioritize personal happiness over staying in unsatisfactory marriages. Many decide to divorce after their children have grown and left home, often realizing that they no longer share common interests with their spouses. This moment of realization is frequently described by my clients as a profound silence at the dinner table once the last child leaves.

Another surprising factor contributing to this trend was the Covid-19 pandemic. The lockdown forced couples to spend extensive time together, revealing unresolved issues that had been previously ignored due to busy work schedules. Many individuals over 50 realized they had been avoiding their failing marriages, leading to an increase in divorces post-pandemic.

Financial Impacts on Women

Grey divorces particularly affect women who have worked part-time or not at all while raising children. These women often find themselves at a significant financial disadvantage. Despite the court-ordered spousal support, the challenge remains as the husband’s income must cover his living expenses in addition to providing support.

To mitigate this, I advise my female clients to maintain part-time employment while raising children, ensuring they have a professional foothold that can serve as a safety net in case of divorce. This strategy is crucial, especially when re-entering the workforce after years of absence can be daunting and challenging.

For women aged 65 and older, the financial outlook tends to be more favorable due to the availability of substantial assets for division, including retirement funds, pensions, and properties. Additionally, they can benefit from social security payments, Medicare/Medi-Cal, and other assistance programs.

Handling Alimony and Asset Division

Older couples, especially those separating at age 50 or over, approach issues like spousal support and asset division differently compared to younger couples. Those in their 20s and 30s often show reluctance in paying spousal support or dividing assets, while those in their 50s may exhibit stronger emotional reactions and a desire to protect their interests. Individuals in their 60s generally adopt a more conciliatory attitude, aiming for a peaceful and efficient resolution.

In my experience, individuals in their 20s and 30s adapt more quickly to separation. In contrast, those in their 50s and 60s may face challenges in accepting the end of a marriage they anticipated lasting a lifetime, often continuing to refer to their former spouse in familiar terms.

Significant Sticking Points in Divorce Cases

The most significant point of contention in less amicable divorce cases is often the payment of spousal support. Individuals over 60 tend to have a more positive attitude towards paying spousal support, largely due to their proximity to retirement. However, those divorcing in their 20s and 30s face greater challenges due to the implications of short-term versus long-term marriages.

In long-term marriages, the paying spouse must provide support until the receiving spouse remarries, either party passes away, or a mutually agreed-upon end date is reached. This can lead to resentment, especially if infidelity was involved, though California’s no-fault divorce law means such factors do not impact legal proceedings.

Guidance for Those Considering Divorce

For clients over 50 considering divorce, my recommendations vary based on their employment status and financial situation. I generally advise seeking part-time or full-time employment to maintain financial independence and mental well-being. For those with significant assets and a high-earning spouse, refraining from employment may be more beneficial.

Divorce can have a profound impact on both spouses, altering familiar dynamics and routines. For stay-at-home spouses, obtaining employment can provide a sense of purpose and stability during this challenging transition.

Rebuilding After Divorce

Divorce is not the end of life; it is the beginning of a new chapter. I encourage individuals over 50 to adopt a fresh, optimistic outlook and view this transition as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth. Embracing the full spectrum of emotions that accompany divorce can foster personal resilience and development.

By maintaining a growth-oriented mindset and focusing on the potential for positive change, individuals can navigate the challenges of divorce with greater clarity, strength, and hope for the future. Remember, divorce signifies a period of significant changes, opening the door to new possibilities and opportunities.